August 11, 2008

Quick Hit: Iron Hymen

I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:

Forcing my wonderful parents to use "tough love" and kick me out of the house for embarrassing them by being such a little whore.

Having adoption-hungry homosexuals circle my pregnant belly like vultures, hell-bent on corrupting my unwanted bastard child with their sicko "love."

Learn more about the dangers of icky boy parts and the benefits of keeping your legs closed!

(Yes, it's a parody.)

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